Hi all. I was gonna update last week but I got sick toward the end so that made it hard to do. What has happened.... well I went to Granada and it was amazing people. It was a crazy adventure where we didn't come back to our hostal until 1am both nights, met some awesome poeple, and Gods grace was all over the trip. As I stood on the Alhambra looking over the Muslium quarter I was just amazed how God fufills wishes that were made such a long tme ago. Forgotten dreams. The whole trip was just a praise to the God who knows us so well.
I need to say that we have had some great speakers here at Rio Vida. Many of them have come from other Torchbearers Schools most often from Capernwray Hall in England but one has come from Taurenhof in Austria too. God has just shown me how much my past affects how I am and holds me back from what God wants to do from me. Thats been hard to realize. Gods says that He makes us a new being when we accept Jesus Christ as our savior but we still carry around the things that have affected us in our past, the difference is that now we have Christ and God to help us through them now. I'm not even scratching the surface of what I've been learning and I haven't even begun applying it all to my life et kids. Its been hard enough to realize my lack of a relationship with God during these past weeks and how much fuller it is now that I am in true fellowship with God and depending on Him to give me strength to get through each day. I know this may seem a radical idea to some of you but its the honest truth... We must realize that we are horrible sinful yet beautiful creatures created in God image who must depend on Him to do the simpliest things. Everything we do is to be praise to God.
I don't know if I've said this before but life here isn't that epic. Its hard to deal with the poeple here at time specially since many of them are a good 7 to 6 years younger than I am and at a totally different stage. When lecturers speak they usualy reference the youngness of our school. But on the other hand we have been getting so much marriage advice its crazy! I mean whoa like almost every speaker has spoken about it thus far. The most mind changing "fact" put forth thus far is that God hasn't chosen just one specific person for us, we have an option of many! What madness is this?? But to be honest it makes it easier on me knowing that I've got some options out there and I might not totally screw up on that one. Also like I said at the begining I have been sick for the past few days which is always hard specially in foriegn country. I cough so much when I lay down that its hard to fall alseep. so please pray for my cough that it basically stops. Another hard thing is not really hearing from people at home. I'm not saying this to lay a guilt trip on anyone, I just want to be honest. I have been making some good friends here but no one is from California so I'll be headed back to Lompoc again with no support structure in place. God has laid it upon my heart to try and find an accountability partner but where in the world do you find someone who won't judge you? I mean thats hard ya know?
OH I should mention that I do have a job for this summer. I'll be headed back to my tiny island in Washington State for another summer at Camp Nor'wester but this time as a unit leader (camp counselor for all you folk who don't understand the Nor'Wester system). No clue what unit but from June 14 to August 25th thats where I'll be back in a tipi! Before then I'll be in Lompoc probably subbing until I leave for Washington in June. Theres a wedding and graduation thrown in there too so I'll be busy *fingers crossed*.
So thats it for right now. I'm posting pictures to my flickr (my sn is mint_green_dot). I'll be sure to update next week sometime. love to you all.
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
oh you know just some stuff
well all HI again. Sorry I haven´t been updating as often as I have said. I decided to be present and well it didn´t really translate well to updating my blog! I´ll try to be better at it from now on.
Well it we just came to week 4 at bible school. We´ve have had some amazing speakers including 2 of the sons of the founder of Torchbearers School, Major Ian Thoms. The sons are both from Capenwray Hall, the original school in England, and thier names are Marc and Andy. Both are great men with so much knowledge... My roommate Megan said it best when she commented "I was thinking that I´d love to marry a man like Andy but then I realized that I´d much rather BE andy". And its true the men who have taught us so far are amazing spiritual men who have let Jesus Christ work through them in amazing ways. I truly want to be like them. My faith and relationship with Christ is in a constant state of movement since I got here and I can´t wait to see how it all unfold when I actually leave and can see all your lovely faces again.
I´ve been playing a ton of soccer lately. I had forgotten how much I really love to play the game. I am not very good by all means but I´m getting better. One of the lecturers this week helped formed Sportreach and is a very good footballer (soccer) and has taught us some things. I actually know how to properly pass the ball! And I´ve even scored a goal. This week we are actually having a beach football tournament and I´m goalie for team Germany (no I didn´t schoose my team we were assigned). We haven´t wom a game but I´ve gotten some comments on how good of a defender I am.
Next week will mark the half way point of school and mid term break happens then. I´m going to Granada witha majority of my school. I´m excited to see a different part of Spain and the Alhambra. It´ll be nice to get away from school for awhile and rest! and come back ready to study hard for the last 5 weeks. I shoud also metion that we have been doing outreach in local churches by doing thier Sunday services. Evangelical churches are so small here in Spain. We went to the Salvation Army in Alicante and the students at my school (31 total) out numbered the people who came. Its so funny that we take for granted our church communities in the USA. We are just so blessed to be in a country that lets us practice the way we want to. My group hasn´t down a church service outside of school yet (we did the first one here at school) but its coming up the first week of March. We´re doing it at our directors church in Compello.
I also want to tell you that not everything is not daisys and lollipops here. There are some real struggles being here, specially financially and with the people who are attending. I can realize that I am not one to judge. I am so blessed to be here and have the finances to be here even if this are tight at times. Just pray that the subbing this gets kicked into high gear when I get home okay? I also was offered a job at the camp I worked at in 2009 as a unit leader (camp counselor). I´m not sure if I´m going to take it or not yet... I´m leaning towards yes though. It´ll be a learning expierence and I really do love that camp. Please pray for God to have His say in this situation. I already think I know what Hes saying but I´ve decided to give it another day or so before answering just to make sure my heart is in the right place by accepting this position. If I do get this job I have an 80% possibility of moving to the Pacific Northwest afterwards unless something else happens.... like maybe more bible school? Not sure yet but I´m praying about it too.
well kiddos I hope that this is enough info for you for now. I´ll try and update later this week or next week.... maybe from Granada?
Well it we just came to week 4 at bible school. We´ve have had some amazing speakers including 2 of the sons of the founder of Torchbearers School, Major Ian Thoms. The sons are both from Capenwray Hall, the original school in England, and thier names are Marc and Andy. Both are great men with so much knowledge... My roommate Megan said it best when she commented "I was thinking that I´d love to marry a man like Andy but then I realized that I´d much rather BE andy". And its true the men who have taught us so far are amazing spiritual men who have let Jesus Christ work through them in amazing ways. I truly want to be like them. My faith and relationship with Christ is in a constant state of movement since I got here and I can´t wait to see how it all unfold when I actually leave and can see all your lovely faces again.
I´ve been playing a ton of soccer lately. I had forgotten how much I really love to play the game. I am not very good by all means but I´m getting better. One of the lecturers this week helped formed Sportreach and is a very good footballer (soccer) and has taught us some things. I actually know how to properly pass the ball! And I´ve even scored a goal. This week we are actually having a beach football tournament and I´m goalie for team Germany (no I didn´t schoose my team we were assigned). We haven´t wom a game but I´ve gotten some comments on how good of a defender I am.
Next week will mark the half way point of school and mid term break happens then. I´m going to Granada witha majority of my school. I´m excited to see a different part of Spain and the Alhambra. It´ll be nice to get away from school for awhile and rest! and come back ready to study hard for the last 5 weeks. I shoud also metion that we have been doing outreach in local churches by doing thier Sunday services. Evangelical churches are so small here in Spain. We went to the Salvation Army in Alicante and the students at my school (31 total) out numbered the people who came. Its so funny that we take for granted our church communities in the USA. We are just so blessed to be in a country that lets us practice the way we want to. My group hasn´t down a church service outside of school yet (we did the first one here at school) but its coming up the first week of March. We´re doing it at our directors church in Compello.
I also want to tell you that not everything is not daisys and lollipops here. There are some real struggles being here, specially financially and with the people who are attending. I can realize that I am not one to judge. I am so blessed to be here and have the finances to be here even if this are tight at times. Just pray that the subbing this gets kicked into high gear when I get home okay? I also was offered a job at the camp I worked at in 2009 as a unit leader (camp counselor). I´m not sure if I´m going to take it or not yet... I´m leaning towards yes though. It´ll be a learning expierence and I really do love that camp. Please pray for God to have His say in this situation. I already think I know what Hes saying but I´ve decided to give it another day or so before answering just to make sure my heart is in the right place by accepting this position. If I do get this job I have an 80% possibility of moving to the Pacific Northwest afterwards unless something else happens.... like maybe more bible school? Not sure yet but I´m praying about it too.
well kiddos I hope that this is enough info for you for now. I´ll try and update later this week or next week.... maybe from Granada?
Sunday, August 29, 2010
and the seasons go round and round
The weather has come to my favorite time of the year.... it has cooled and the leaves are starting to fall. Autumn has returned and my time at MH is coming to an end.... yet again.
The end of summer has been interesting. Much more community within the departments and some of my strongest friends from this summer come from the most unlikely of sources and its really sad to see them go off into the real world. These past two weeks have been a lot of hanging out with my fellow interns which is always a homecoming of sorts. Its nice to be surrounded by people who just know you. And even though its good to fall into the click of interns I know I've had to spend time with my other friends.
I have 10 days left in the internship and 14 days left in Santa Cruz. This time I have plans... well sorta and I've finally come to the point if God wants me to come back to this place I will but I hope I get a break from working here for awhile. Lompoc might not be the best place for me to stay but for the next 4 months I've got to stick it out and just face the obstacles that come at me.... like finding a new church, and a job, and even making some ties to it other than my family. After these 4 months I really have no clue when I'll be back.... I might sound like a broken record but its just wierd to be in this time.... Nothing is permant right now. The only "for sure" thing right now is Spain and that is even frightening at times.
Sometime this summer, during a summer staff worhip, someone told us to remember this time in out lives. To write it down. The ancient Israelites made these stone altars to remember the works that God had done in thier lifes. To be visual reminders so that they could give praise to the Almighty. This person, I think it was a staff pastor, encouraged us to write down what we had seen this summer so that we could look back and give praise to God for what we have seen and done this summer. I have neglected to do that this summer but maybe before I pass my torch off.... maybe in the 4 days I have of nothing before I leave this town I have called home for the past 3 years I ought to start writing down the good and the bad I have seen in my times and give my thanks to the God who brought me out to other side a better and stronger person than I was at the begining. My life has not always been enjoyable but it has been good and I will continue to give God all the glory irregardless of where I go....
The end of summer has been interesting. Much more community within the departments and some of my strongest friends from this summer come from the most unlikely of sources and its really sad to see them go off into the real world. These past two weeks have been a lot of hanging out with my fellow interns which is always a homecoming of sorts. Its nice to be surrounded by people who just know you. And even though its good to fall into the click of interns I know I've had to spend time with my other friends.
I have 10 days left in the internship and 14 days left in Santa Cruz. This time I have plans... well sorta and I've finally come to the point if God wants me to come back to this place I will but I hope I get a break from working here for awhile. Lompoc might not be the best place for me to stay but for the next 4 months I've got to stick it out and just face the obstacles that come at me.... like finding a new church, and a job, and even making some ties to it other than my family. After these 4 months I really have no clue when I'll be back.... I might sound like a broken record but its just wierd to be in this time.... Nothing is permant right now. The only "for sure" thing right now is Spain and that is even frightening at times.
Sometime this summer, during a summer staff worhip, someone told us to remember this time in out lives. To write it down. The ancient Israelites made these stone altars to remember the works that God had done in thier lifes. To be visual reminders so that they could give praise to the Almighty. This person, I think it was a staff pastor, encouraged us to write down what we had seen this summer so that we could look back and give praise to God for what we have seen and done this summer. I have neglected to do that this summer but maybe before I pass my torch off.... maybe in the 4 days I have of nothing before I leave this town I have called home for the past 3 years I ought to start writing down the good and the bad I have seen in my times and give my thanks to the God who brought me out to other side a better and stronger person than I was at the begining. My life has not always been enjoyable but it has been good and I will continue to give God all the glory irregardless of where I go....
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
the predicament which is here and now
This picture was taken in one of my favorite places in Seattle. That was a crazy trip I took there about 6 weeks ago and at this park it was the most peace that I felt during thaqt whole trip. Its just nice to be in a place of peace.
This summer hasn't been peaceful at all.... and thats very sad for me. I feel like I am constantly doing this wrong. No one has ever told me otherwise. I'm tired of not being treated like a decent human being.... espeacially by other Christians. Its almost over though.... My mom pointed out to me that God seems to put me in these situations pretty often so maybe this summer is one of just learning to deal with it and to depend on God more. Which is hard on me but I know I can.
Spain is only 6 months away. And now its just hit that I'll have to actually get a job when I go back home. Which won't be too bad.... I'm gonna try get a seasonal job for a department store or maybe even the craft store. I think I could handle a craft store much more than a department store. I'm really hoping someone will hire me before I have to go to a fast food resturant. Specially since I would like to actually travel and be able to you know.... eat when I get there. And there is a possibility of Eastern Europe next summer.... I just need to get a jump start on that sucker.
I can't really get into the heartache thats happened this summer but I figure I'll be a stronger person come September. And I know that I cannot focus on the future and ignore the present. Right now I am seeking Gods voice for a decision that I would rather just not make... I'd rather just run away...
Second session at CNW starts in 7 days... apparently its time for me to cut off my turks head. It's been a year since its been burned on. Its sorta hard to let go of something that has been apart of you yet not noticable.... it should be an interesting time
Monday, April 5, 2010
the choices you make
Life has been steady in the intern house for these past few months... something clicked in Janurary and we've been going pretty strong ever since. We've clicked as a family finally. Its moving steadily along at MH. Summer is fast approaching. As I was driving back with some friends from dinner I realized it was almost 7pm and the sun hadn't even set yet. Summer is so close but at least its 2 months away. I'm going to Seattle in May to see old friends and campers from this past summer. My life has changed so much since last June... Since last September. People have been commenting on how I've grown and changed. Its wierd to get these compliments but oddly refrenshing. I know I've changed and I'm glad I have. If I was still the same person that I was 3 years ago... I really don't want to think about it.
I thought of an ex boyfriend today.... He wasn't the last guy I date but some one I had dated in high school... He is actually the only guy I have ever dated that... in all honesty I would date again. God just suddenly placed him on my heart and I just think of.... how it was a honor to be blessed by him for the short while we dated and kept in contect. And he's also the only guy I don't refer to by name if I do talk about him to others. Thats just my way of respecting him... so that people don't get him confused with the last guy I dated. I honestly miss hs bf.... He was a good guy and I wish we would have stayed together, at least as friends. He's the reason why I didn't go to Sac State. I was dating another guy when I got that acceptance letter to the school and I thought if I went to school I didn't know what would happen with hs bf. I probably would have gone out with him if he would have asked me.Life would have been so different if i had gone to Sac State. I can't even fathom what my life would have been like. Probably no Mount Hermon, No Jewish community, no me as I am now. But probably hs bf.... he would probably been in my life some way.
I wonder why God puts people on your hearts during random times. Is it to pray for them? Are they thinking of you? Why do they just strike your heart and mkae you wish so much that they were just there with you? I miss him sometimes... specially when God puts him on my heart. I wish things would have been different.... I wish I had made different choices..... choices that would have kept him in my life longer.... Just to see what God would have done with him.
Now I know God works in mysterious ways... and if God deems fit... hs bf just might make a come back in my life. I know today I said a prayer for him... just to thank God for putting him in my life and to keep him safe and well. Whatever God does with me I will still praise Him. I will be thankful under all circumstances. I am honestly not looking for love in that way right now. If it happens, it happens but I'm not searching for it like I use to. My life is good just the way it is... living here in MH with my intern family. I'm finally glad God has placed me here.
I thought of an ex boyfriend today.... He wasn't the last guy I date but some one I had dated in high school... He is actually the only guy I have ever dated that... in all honesty I would date again. God just suddenly placed him on my heart and I just think of.... how it was a honor to be blessed by him for the short while we dated and kept in contect. And he's also the only guy I don't refer to by name if I do talk about him to others. Thats just my way of respecting him... so that people don't get him confused with the last guy I dated. I honestly miss hs bf.... He was a good guy and I wish we would have stayed together, at least as friends. He's the reason why I didn't go to Sac State. I was dating another guy when I got that acceptance letter to the school and I thought if I went to school I didn't know what would happen with hs bf. I probably would have gone out with him if he would have asked me.Life would have been so different if i had gone to Sac State. I can't even fathom what my life would have been like. Probably no Mount Hermon, No Jewish community, no me as I am now. But probably hs bf.... he would probably been in my life some way.
I wonder why God puts people on your hearts during random times. Is it to pray for them? Are they thinking of you? Why do they just strike your heart and mkae you wish so much that they were just there with you? I miss him sometimes... specially when God puts him on my heart. I wish things would have been different.... I wish I had made different choices..... choices that would have kept him in my life longer.... Just to see what God would have done with him.
Now I know God works in mysterious ways... and if God deems fit... hs bf just might make a come back in my life. I know today I said a prayer for him... just to thank God for putting him in my life and to keep him safe and well. Whatever God does with me I will still praise Him. I will be thankful under all circumstances. I am honestly not looking for love in that way right now. If it happens, it happens but I'm not searching for it like I use to. My life is good just the way it is... living here in MH with my intern family. I'm finally glad God has placed me here.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
another summer staff application
So today I am filling out my Summer Staff application for MH yet again. Its sorta a technicality... I should have to but since all interns are going to be summer staff during the summer we need to be put into the system and have to fill out an application. I think back about how anxious I was to fill out this application in 07... I was so ready to just leave my hometown and get out. I already had thought that if I didn't get accepted to UCSC this time (this was my second time applying) I was going to go and train to be a park ranger. I was already looking at what I needed to be accpeted into that program. But a summer working at a camp sounded like fun and was something I had always wanted to do. God has a funny way of putting us in places where we need to be. I really needed that summer to connect and form some really friendships and just mentally prepare to leave home for real, to depend on others not just myself, and to realize that a relationship with my then current bf wasn't really needed. 07 was a good year for me... the next 08 was hard... so very hard. I should have realized then how slow of a processor I was... A lot of emotions came out during that summer. But still in the end it was still good for me. I made friends with some girls who I won't ever let go. They are way too good for me and I love 'em to death.
In 09 I had mixed feelings about MH. I sorta wanted to be there but I also didn't want to. So I applied to 3 other camps. I expected at least an interview from MH.... and I didn't get one. I got offered a job at Nor'Wester. I was sad to leave and angry that I hadn't even gotten an interview for the job. And Nor'Wester was an expierence... for the most part good yet it wasn't great. I miss it though and I honestly wish I was applying for craft shop there insted of book shop here.
This time around... I just feel so upset. I feel like I am just ranting... against God, against MH about what they have done to me. This is not what I wanted for this year... but as a person of faith I have to believe that God wants me here for a reason. I hope this summer is good and the only thing I'll have to complain about is the food. I hope I'll get to share my story with some people... strenghtn bonds with old friends and make some new ones. I hope God helps me with this past year and bending to His will.... because after this I don't know if I'll be at MH anymore. I don't know if I'll ever be coming back. I know for sure I am going on a vacation (Austria here I come!) but other than that.... I have an open ear and an open heart to see where I'm headed. I hope its an adventure and I hope its God filled. I know God is good and I know He does wonders... you just have to look for them.
In 09 I had mixed feelings about MH. I sorta wanted to be there but I also didn't want to. So I applied to 3 other camps. I expected at least an interview from MH.... and I didn't get one. I got offered a job at Nor'Wester. I was sad to leave and angry that I hadn't even gotten an interview for the job. And Nor'Wester was an expierence... for the most part good yet it wasn't great. I miss it though and I honestly wish I was applying for craft shop there insted of book shop here.
This time around... I just feel so upset. I feel like I am just ranting... against God, against MH about what they have done to me. This is not what I wanted for this year... but as a person of faith I have to believe that God wants me here for a reason. I hope this summer is good and the only thing I'll have to complain about is the food. I hope I'll get to share my story with some people... strenghtn bonds with old friends and make some new ones. I hope God helps me with this past year and bending to His will.... because after this I don't know if I'll be at MH anymore. I don't know if I'll ever be coming back. I know for sure I am going on a vacation (Austria here I come!) but other than that.... I have an open ear and an open heart to see where I'm headed. I hope its an adventure and I hope its God filled. I know God is good and I know He does wonders... you just have to look for them.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Future
Jeremiah 29:11 says that God knows the plans he has for us, plans for a hope and a future. As someone on the brink of unknown territory the words of Gods promise have been playing on repeat in my head... A hope and a future. What does that entail for me? The future is so uncertian and sometimes I'm not sure I have what it takes to just shove off and chart my own path... but I guess I'll have to now...
I got a job this summer at a camp I've never been to, doing a job i've never done, in a state I've never been too... It's a whole bunch of firsts and I'm wondering what God has exactly planned for me. So in June, 4 days after I graduate from college I'll be heading to Washington state to work on an island for 2 months as a camp photographer.
The question that popped into my head was how would I reinvent myself? How would this summer change my life? I have no backup plan... I haven't gotten any other job offers... God has sucessfully shown me that this is what He wants me to do. He's once again calling me off to a place where I will have to... well survive. This expierence is shaping up to be one of the most extreme things I've ever done... And I wonder what people will think of me when I return... will I have changed or just stayed the same.
A Hope and a Future... God truly has everything in the palms of His hands. When He has things planned for us.. we will have to do them... This morning I was listening to the radio and a segment came on in which the presenter said something about how our fear holds us back from doing what God wants.... I have to go. I can't let my fear of the unknown stop me. So as school winds down I'll be packing my trunk (!?!?!) and deciding what to keep with me and send home. Then I'll board the plane to Seattle and hopefully I won't look back too much and let God help me through what He's planned for me.
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