Wednesday, July 21, 2010
the predicament which is here and now
This picture was taken in one of my favorite places in Seattle. That was a crazy trip I took there about 6 weeks ago and at this park it was the most peace that I felt during thaqt whole trip. Its just nice to be in a place of peace.
This summer hasn't been peaceful at all.... and thats very sad for me. I feel like I am constantly doing this wrong. No one has ever told me otherwise. I'm tired of not being treated like a decent human being.... espeacially by other Christians. Its almost over though.... My mom pointed out to me that God seems to put me in these situations pretty often so maybe this summer is one of just learning to deal with it and to depend on God more. Which is hard on me but I know I can.
Spain is only 6 months away. And now its just hit that I'll have to actually get a job when I go back home. Which won't be too bad.... I'm gonna try get a seasonal job for a department store or maybe even the craft store. I think I could handle a craft store much more than a department store. I'm really hoping someone will hire me before I have to go to a fast food resturant. Specially since I would like to actually travel and be able to you know.... eat when I get there. And there is a possibility of Eastern Europe next summer.... I just need to get a jump start on that sucker.
I can't really get into the heartache thats happened this summer but I figure I'll be a stronger person come September. And I know that I cannot focus on the future and ignore the present. Right now I am seeking Gods voice for a decision that I would rather just not make... I'd rather just run away...
Second session at CNW starts in 7 days... apparently its time for me to cut off my turks head. It's been a year since its been burned on. Its sorta hard to let go of something that has been apart of you yet not noticable.... it should be an interesting time