I had an old friend drop in on me for the past few days. I hadn't seen him in almost 3 years and he's been around the world (literally) a time or two and was headed onwards to New Zealand. I truly enjoyed having his presence in my life for a few days, to be able to talk with someone and not really have to weed through my words... someone who knew me at time in the past... it was nice to be known for a few days.
life has been hard lately... I've felt lost, not from God, just lost as a person. I don't really know where I belong anymore... I honestly feel like the people who surround me use me or are obligated to acknowledge me cus I do nice things for them or they feel obligated to. I bet thats not right but it feels like it. Actually it is right in some cases. And often, specially since my friend left I've just wanted to drop everything and just leave for awhile. I just want to feel wanted again... I want people to do kind things for me gain and I feel incredibly greedy about feeling that way. I just need one good friend, a physical presence, to walk me through this cus I don't want to feel this way anymore. I don't want to understand my grief better, I just want people to show me that they care for me.
This is just words to the wind... sometimes I just need to say things and let them go
