Sometimes emotions hit so hard. They drown you in this never ending wave... or at least it seems that way. You can't get a brake and you're constantly trying to get up to the surface but you just can't.
Some thing has been frustrating me lately... and its people. It seems that the people in my area are incredibly self centered. They focus on themselves or what they need and don't really try to see whatsbeyond them. Thy don't want to give apart of themselves. They forget what others are saying or don't deem it important enough to care about it. And even though I know I am guilty of it too I am seeing it more prevolant now. It just so sad. I'm not sure how to get poeple to care... if its something that they need to see and want to do. Teens in lompoc want to get out of here so badly yet they are so self centered that they can only focus on Lompoc.
Iam so tired of giving and not really getting anything for myself. I just want someone to pop out of the blue and say "Rachel! I love you and lets go and do something sooo fun I know you'll love it! I want to be with you for awhile!" This Poland trip is really draining me. I don't think I can keep this up much longer and not get anything in return. Plus right now I am unfortunately in a really low emotional state which doesn't really help.
In the book of James, James writes about how our trials will eventually lead us to be perfect and complete. While that can be comforting its often hard to focus on that in this storm. I just need to focus on Jesus and let Him be the beacon in this storm, but I still need some sort of uplifting sooner rather than later.
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