Tuesday, December 6, 2011
This weekend marks my 26th bitrthday. And my return to Santa Cruz. I haven't been there since April which is the longest I've been away since I moved there in the summer 2007. While my parents have lived in Lompoc since I was 9 Santa Cruz has been home. Its like coming back to a familiar hug. You know its always gonna be there maybe with a few new things but it'll always smeel the same and provide you what you're looking for. I miss living there. I miss my friends up there especially. I miss my church. I miss the trees and the ocean. I miss late night trips to the beach. Its one of thos things that I know if I moved back there it wouldn't be the same but it would pretty dang close. I can't wait to walk down Pacific Ave and sit in the Abbey again. To eat some of my favorite foods. To see people I love. Even though my life is slowly evolving out of Santa Cruz its always going to be the place I can go back to. Its always gonna be home.
May I admit something to you? I think it might be high time I did this due to it probably being healthy for me. I think I've developed feelings for someone. Yes its odd. And subbing at a high school doesn't help it much (I'm all into watching the interactions between high schoolers its pretty funny). I haven't been in a relationship in 4 years and I honestly Don't have much more
hope for this one going much beyond fb buddies... but that just might be my realist side coming out of the wood work. I should just let it ride right? I do know that is this does evolve that I have a couple of big decisions to make... and ones that won't be easy to do. All I am doing is praying to Jesus to help me make good choices. And I'm hoping that all my thoughts aren't about him! Gosh! Girl brains.
I have been missing Spain a lot lately. I want to go back, I need to go back. I miss soccer, I miss the beach, I miss the history, and I miss those dang triangols de maiz. I also miss that sketchy walk to Carrefore. Theres just a lot to miss. I just gotta go back this year and do the Camino de Santiago. Theres no other choice. My heart needs Spain.
I have a feeling that my heart is longing for the familiar that has gone unfamilar. I wonder what the cure is....