Life has been steady in the intern house for these past few months... something clicked in Janurary and we've been going pretty strong ever since. We've clicked as a family finally. Its moving steadily along at MH. Summer is fast approaching. As I was driving back with some friends from dinner I realized it was almost 7pm and the sun hadn't even set yet. Summer is so close but at least its 2 months away. I'm going to Seattle in May to see old friends and campers from this past summer. My life has changed so much since last June... Since last September. People have been commenting on how I've grown and changed. Its wierd to get these compliments but oddly refrenshing. I know I've changed and I'm glad I have. If I was still the same person that I was 3 years ago... I really don't want to think about it.
I thought of an ex boyfriend today.... He wasn't the last guy I date but some one I had dated in high school... He is actually the only guy I have ever dated that... in all honesty I would date again. God just suddenly placed him on my heart and I just think of.... how it was a honor to be blessed by him for the short while we dated and kept in contect. And he's also the only guy I don't refer to by name if I do talk about him to others. Thats just my way of respecting him... so that people don't get him confused with the last guy I dated. I honestly miss hs bf.... He was a good guy and I wish we would have stayed together, at least as friends. He's the reason why I didn't go to Sac State. I was dating another guy when I got that acceptance letter to the school and I thought if I went to school I didn't know what would happen with hs bf. I probably would have gone out with him if he would have asked me.Life would have been so different if i had gone to Sac State. I can't even fathom what my life would have been like. Probably no Mount Hermon, No Jewish community, no me as I am now. But probably hs bf.... he would probably been in my life some way.
I wonder why God puts people on your hearts during random times. Is it to pray for them? Are they thinking of you? Why do they just strike your heart and mkae you wish so much that they were just there with you? I miss him sometimes... specially when God puts him on my heart. I wish things would have been different.... I wish I had made different choices..... choices that would have kept him in my life longer.... Just to see what God would have done with him.
Now I know God works in mysterious ways... and if God deems fit... hs bf just might make a come back in my life. I know today I said a prayer for him... just to thank God for putting him in my life and to keep him safe and well. Whatever God does with me I will still praise Him. I will be thankful under all circumstances. I am honestly not looking for love in that way right now. If it happens, it happens but I'm not searching for it like I use to. My life is good just the way it is... living here in MH with my intern family. I'm finally glad God has placed me here.
